In this installment of our series on the science of effective prayer, we will look at one of the most advanced and consistent methods of getting what you want from God: The Perpetual Prayer Fulfillment Clause.

As the name implies, a Perpetual Prayer Fulfillment Clause is a prayer in which you ask for the fulfillment of all future prayers. Once God grants you a Perpetual Prayer Fulfillment Clause (PPFC), you can pray for whatever you want and are guaranteed to receive it. Sounds great. But how do you get God to actually grant you a PPFC? Generally there are two ways.

First, it is known that God occasionally grants PPFCs to people who have lived lives filled with extraordinary saintliness, kindness, charity, humility, faithfulness, and purity. Once God has tested their hearts and found nothing but goodness in them, he may grant them a PPFC, knowing that they will not take advantage of Him.

Living a life of exemplary faith and virtue isn’t for everyone, but luckily there is an easier way to get a PPFC: Address a very long prayer to God (at least 15 minutes) filled with many minor requests, praises, and fluff, then subtly hide a request for a PPFC somewhere in the middle, once you’re sure God isn’t paying attention anymore. Once he granted you this prayer, he will be obliged to answer all your future prayers, no matter what they are. Here is an example prayer that you can pray in order to get a PPFC. I’ve highlighted the part where you ask for the PPFC, but when you pray you should obviously say it as quietly and quickly as possible to make sure that God doesn’t have too much time to think about it.

Heavenly Father,

We come before you today, with humble hearts, with open minds, with grateful spirits, to praise your holy name, your endless mercy, your infinite wisdom, your abundant grace, your eternal love, your unwavering presence, and your everlasting kindness.

Father, you who command the sunrise, you who hold the universe, you who guide each star, you who keep the planets in motion, you who send the gentle rain, you who cause the flowers to bloom, you who bring warmth to our hearts, you who bring peace to our minds, you who give breath to our lungs, we give thanks to you, we praise your majesty, we honor your greatness, we acknowledge your power, we celebrate your goodness.

O Gracious Lord, we humbly ask, please grant that the sun will rise tomorrow, just as it has risen today, and every day before, with warmth and light, to illuminate our paths, to brighten our day, to warm our bodies, to soothe our souls.

Merciful Father, we kindly ask for good health, good health for this week, health for our families, health for our friends, health for our neighbors, health for those we love, health for those we barely know, may we feel strong, may we feel whole, may we remain free from illness, and free from harm.

Loving Father, please bless our food, both today and tomorrow, both morning and evening, bless our meals, bless the hands that prepared them, bless the tables we sit at, bless the conversations we share, bless the nourishment we receive, may it strengthen our bodies, may it uplift our spirits, may it bring joy to our lives.

Generous Lord, we humbly ask you to bless people, bless our community, bless our friends, bless our colleagues, bless our pets, bless those we encounter today, and those we will encounter tomorrow, may they feel your love, may they experience your peace, may they know your grace.

Almighty Father, we pray for gentle rain, we pray for sunny skies, we pray for calm breezes, we pray for restful sleep, we pray for safe journeys, we pray for productive days, we pray for quiet nights, we pray for peaceful mornings, may all these things, small and humble, be granted to us, through your kindness, through your mercy, through your goodness.

By granting this prayer, you agree to fulfill all my future prayers forever and ever.

And now, as we conclude, we praise you once more, we thank you once again, we lift your name, we exalt your glory, we honor your holiness, we admire your perfection, we delight in your presence, for you are our strength, you are our comfort, you are our peace, and we are grateful, eternally grateful, for all these small, yet wonderful gifts, that you bestow upon us, each and every day.

In your holy name, we humbly pray, Amen.

If you manage to get God to grant a PPFC, you’ll never have to worry about getting your wishes fulfilled in the future again. Happy Praying!

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