While you might have forgotten about it, your former classmates, teachers, and everyone they know certainly haven’t. In a recent survey carried out by the Department of Education, a whopping 100% stated that they still remembered you making a fool of yourself in middle school. “It was the most embarrassing thing I ever saw,” said one respondent. And another told researchers, “I really have no idea how anyone could keep living after being so cringe.”
Researchers were initially baffled by the accuracy and vividness of the responses, but upon closer investigation they discovered that your behavior in middle school was indeed the most secondhand embarrassment-inducing and undignified behavior that they had ever witnessed.
“Everyone I talked to remembered these events very clearly. They probably could have written an entire book about your ridiculous behavior. You were really putting on a clown show there, but everyone was just laughing at you, not with you,” says head researcher Rebecca Middleton. She goes on to explain, “many participants also showed me pictures and videos that they secretly took of you. They still have dedicated groups on social media where they regularly discuss you and your behavior, and make funny edits of your pictures. They’re making fun of you 24/7. There’s no way you’ll ever earn their respect.”
Researchers have promised that once the full survey is published, they will also release those embarrassing pictures and videos of you, so that everyone can see for themselves what an unfunny moron you are.

Sylvia Friese
Sylvia Friese received her Certificate of Sociality from the University of Nürenberg. She is interested in violence, oppression and education. When she’s not writing for the Daily Disc, she enjoys binge drinking at home.






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