Aries: Your boyfriend will forget your anniversary. After profoundly apologizing, he will also forget your birthday.

Taurus: On Tuesday evening you will feel that spark one more time. Enjoy it while it lasts. It won’t come back any time soon.

Gemini: Moon and Jupiter in conjunction grant you the strength to win one (1) argument with your partner on Thursday.

Cancer: You will put a lot of effort to prepare a nice romantic evening on Saturday, which will go completely unappreciated.

Leo: Your girlfriend will try her best to make you happy this week. Be nice and pretend that it’s enough.

Virgo: Eating ice cream while watching romcoms isn’t good enough anymore, so you’ll have to find another coping strategy.

Libra: You will be forced to choose between your partner and yourself. Consider buying a bigger blanket.

Scorpio: Venting your negative emotions on your partner is cruel and unhealthy. Not that you’d care.

Sagittarius: You will learn two things:

1. Love is like a vast field that grows with small, delicate roses.

2. Your zodiac sign is a wild centaur that doesn’t care about stupid little flowers.

Capricorn: You are always right, and you will pay the ultimate price for it when you disagree with your partner on Friday.

Aquarius: Someone will ask you to watch. You have until Saturday to think of a face-saving reason not to.

Pisces: A series of hilarious misunderstandings will lead you to believe that people are hitting on you, causing a lot of embarrassment and awkwardness throughout the week. This week will haunt you for a long time.

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