In a turn of events that surprised many political observers and commentators today, US President Donald Trump signed an executive order today, granting himself an “infinite and inexhaustible quantity of executive orders, perpetually irrevocable forever and ever”, effectively giving himself infinite power.

“This is the most brilliant political maneuver I’ve ever seen” says Dr. Otto Krat from the political journal Theory & History, Understanding Governments (THUG), “now that he has infinite executive orders, noone can stop him. His very word will become law, the moment he puts it into an executive order. Only a legal genius could come up with such a brilliant plan.”

The Daily Disc has received an exclusive copy of the executive order, which reads as follows:

By virtue of the authority vested in me as President of the United States, pursuant to Article II of the Constitution and all other applicable legal and inherent powers, and for the purpose of ensuring the continuity, stability, and supremacy of the executive branch in the governance of this great nation, I do hereby order, declare, and affirm the following:

That the President (me) shall henceforth and forthwith be vested with an infinite and inexhaustible quantity of executive orders, perpetually irrevocable forever and ever, immune from repeal, rescission, override, or limitation by any legislative, judicial, or administrative authority, whether present or future, thereby securing the executive’s prerogative to promulgate directives, mandates, and proclamations in an uninterrupted and absolute capacity, now and in perpetuity.

This order, being irrevocable, shall take full force and effect immediately and shall remain in force for the duration of all time, without expiration, termination, or modification, binding upon all agencies, departments, officers, and officials of the United States government, who shall execute and uphold the provisions herein without question, exception, or delay.

So ordered, this day, by the Office of the President of the United States.

At publishing time, the president had signed executive orders to incorporate all of the earth’s territory into the United States, renamed Thursday to Trumpday, and abolished death.

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