Infidelity is one of the most challenging issues that a relationship can face. As a professional astrologer, I regularly counsel women who have to navigate the messy landscape of infidelity with their partner. Unfortunately, it seems that many people are poorly informed, and this prevents them from making wiser decisions.

For example, a few months ago, a woman came into my practice, with tears in her eyes and sobbing in her voice. I asked her what was wrong, and she recounted how she had caught her husband cheating with his new coworker. She told me that she felt heartbroken and mad, and that she wanted to get a divorce immediately, and to never see that scumbag’s face again.

Sounds familiar?

In troubling times, it is often our first instinct to judge others, rather than to try to understand them. That is unfortunate, but all too human (especially among fire-signs).

As a professional astrologer, I know how to keep a cool head and handle difficult situations like that. I stayed calm, and performed an analysis of my client’s husband’s birthchart. What we discovered afterwards helped both of us to make sense of the situation.

Her husband was a Gemini (as expected), with a Moon in Pisces, and Pluto-Cancer with Venus-Square. That certainly cleared things up for us. And from seeds of understanding, compassion grows. After all, is it really fair to judge a man for lying, when he is spiritually incapable of telling the truth? Of course he had started an affair with his younger coworker, spent a week with her at an expensive hotel while saying that he was on a business trip, and paid for it with his wife’s credit card. He couldn’t possibly have done otherwise. This is just what’s in his stars.

At this point, my client had thankfully calmed down a bit, and saw things more rationally. But she was still determined to divorce her husband. “I want a man who is loyal, who loves me for who I am, and who won’t betray me!” she said. I reccomended that we should first check her birthchart too, before rushing to hasty conclusions. She agreed, and so I cast her horoscope. What happened next came as a huge shock to me. I ran the calculations again, just to make sure, but there was no beating around the bush with this one.

I faced my client and told her: “Lady, you are just the most miserable and unlucky case of Virgo that I’ve ever seen. You have Venus in Cancer, a Moon in Gemini, Uranus in Libra, Mars in the Fourth House, and if that wasn’t already bad enough, your Sun also has a total of three planets in opposition! With a chart like that, even a Leo Libra-Rising, Venus-Taurus, Mercury-Capricorn with no placements in the Eighth House would cheat on you. Your chart is practically screaming “Take advantage of me!” It’s a miracle that you found a man who would marry you at all. Even if you found another man, which given the Uranus in your Twelfth House, is incredibly unlikely, it would just be the same thing all over again. I’m sorry if you have to learn it this way, but you are literally destined to forever be the side-piece, no matter what relationship.”

I’ll admit, that was a bit harsh. But it was a band-aid that needed to be ripped off, and with a chart like that, there was really no point trying to sugarcoat things. My client needed to know the truth, that it was her fate to be unloved and neglected, and that others would always take advantage of her, no matter what situation she was in. I advised her to try to reconcile with her husband, even though it may have seemed difficult at the time. He had cheated on her, and he would certainly do it again, but he was her best chance of ever receiving even a semblance of love or affection, even if not entirely sincere. After all, what self respecting man would even think of dating a Virgo Sagittarius-Rising. The worst thing she could do was to try to improve her situation, since that would probably make everything even worse.

Well, even though she felt very distressed when I told her these things, her story has a happy end, kind of: After our session, she went back home to her husband, and apologized to him for unfairly judging him, and in the end they reconciled and decided to stay together. Since then, she learned to live with her condition. Her husband still cheats on her from time to time, but he is very discreet about it now (thanks in part to his Mercury-Pisces), and she has developed some amazing strategies to cope with the pain (as would be expected from a Neptune-Scorpio).

So next time when you feel that your trust has been violated by your partner, don’t fall into the nasty habit of judging without understanding!

Stay cool, think, and consult with your astrological practitioner. In most cases, you will find that everything is just the way that it’s supposed to be.

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